Mother

Reality sank in tonight and you approached me out of the blue with the saddest face I've ever seen on you. I'm so sorry mom, I'm so sorry. I love you so much, thank you for being here for me through all of these years. I've been dreaming about your sadness for quite some time now, and it hurt me to see you like that. I didn't let you see me crying back. I know you are going to miss me, I know that by the time you read this you will be missing me still. Look mom, you are the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. You are my creator, and I am in love with you. Thank you again for all that you have given me. Thank you for your faith, and your love, your kindness, and your undying understanding for me as your son; a growing man. I'm going to be okay, I promised pat and myself that I would keep in touch whenever I can. So look to the future and not the past, and before you know it you will see me again. And if you ever want a hug from me just close your eyes and feel my arms around you. I know how much I mean to you, there isn't a single thing in this world that could replace the love you have given me. Terry is going to take care of you, he is a good man with a good heart. Chris will be Chris, but you know he loves you. His time for change is upon him, you are going to have to guide him still, as you have guided all of us.

Be strong mom, you are beautiful and I miss you so much already. I wish you could see my tears, but then again I don't. Okay, I'm going to go now mom. Keep me in your heart please, I need to be there. I love you so much, and I'm always missing you even though I know, that you and I are both wrapped up in the blanket of love only a mother and her child can share. Oh and hey, remember that time when I closed my eyes and walked down the sidewalk right into a pole? I hit that thing harder than I intended... but my goal was to make everyone laugh and smile. It worked of course, but something I never told anyone was that... my eyes were actually open. So smile mom. Laugh even. Just don't be too sad while I'm away. This world is can be a cold hearted place and if anyone knows of it's dangers it's you. And you've taught me so well. So in a sense I am prepared for whatever life throws at me. You've given me a life which has made me strong. My eyes are open just as much now as they were back then, only it's not a pole I'm headed for, it's happiness. Giant hugs, I love you mom.